Friday, September 17, 2004
I... feel so sick of exams, studying over and over again the same old thing, yet each time i study, the lesser got in.
sigh.
there are many people who shape my life. even in my hardest time-now.
sng's words yest...:4b capable of acheiving Far better results...some of us underperforming..yet we noe we can actually do it...we dont do it..and we study way to late...like just before the exam.which is totally true..4b should be the last class to perform badly... i agree, with a certain alarm and that...i really should do wadever is neccessary...even if i fall sick. HOWEVER, charoo's already told us tt it isnt the time to NOT REST and STUDY TILL THE 11TH HOUR...
this is how i felt: tired, drained, exhausted. a WICKED ROUTINE...indeed.. woke like so early in the morning jus to catch wadever that will be coming out.stuff them into my reluctant brainS.they rebel, yes they do. eye lids too..they CAN CLOSE. theres really no time to breathe, this i created it. it SHOULDNT HAVE BEEN THIS WAY. im WAY TOO NOT FOCUSED. and this shouldnt been it. wicked. cant get to sleep and have to suffer the intrigate state of horror. no happy dreams during sleep, just dozing off and waking up, feeling INSECURE.
i will always remember what jean said. (i cant find it anymore on your blog... =( )
And also what wo de hao peng you said.
'that's the way u sld be young girl!' - yingli, on me perservering. yes, im younger than her..wahahahah! im glad.
the cca pics and council pics are out...wo de hao peng you said i look innocent in the council pic?! bloody hell! hahaha..i dont look like sec2 okie! hahahah..maybe coz im young! sylvia jiejie! wAHAhahah!
my rants.
maths(yesterday) was such a chore. i left out most questions. 30marks flew away just like a bird soaring high into the sky. But in the negative direction. i did not know how to do some, and most importantly, i did not have the time. those that i knew how to do, maybe there were careless mistakes somewhere. it had to be, i was sure. i screwed up this paper. the TEACHER who set the paper was so...damn annoying...shant point to whoever...but wadever it is...the locus question i could do..and the bloody teacher typed wrongly the angles..so DAMN HIM. i got so lost in my train of thoughts. so what if he feels guilty, it aint gonna affect our marks eventually, will it?
literature,a view from the bridge.(today).
i thought the bonesetter's daughter had killed me. This is the paper that i can score in because i had an upper hand to those people who took a maths.(dropped it because i was too stressed.they know best.) anyway, was studying in the library with the freaking noise level plus mrs geeta's horrendous high pitched tenor voice. gosh. but i was so tired..i could not really perform. slept at 1am, woke up at 4, then studied all the way thru till the time of the paper. I FEEL SO SICK! the paper was quite alright. i guess i answered it...averagely...mental block occurs at the most frustrating times.
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y is this happening?
tml's mother tongue..i have no regrets taking it...yet...its been 2 months since i last touched it...its rusty..i cant say for sure if i'll do better than the Os score...B3, thats wad i got. if it had to be worst for this time, jus kill me.
my thoughts, u dont have to say anything. All i need is...bird nest...ginseng...chicken essence...and more tonic.hahahaa..i've been drinking essence of chicken with american ginseng lately...its been 6 bottles...its bitter...but good for nourishing...hahahaha..tml shall be the day i recharge, like the trojans of troy.
ha, even ms koh said i look stress, the shadows below my eyes gave me off..can compared to a panda's. only not as dark. anyway, dolly's such a funny person..our papers end on tues, yet she asked me..'y you dont wanna go for the parliament house?' so i found an excuse...'ohh, cos no time.' went up the bus.shes getting married next year??? -raised brows- hahaha...she told me she would invite me can! WAHahaha!
[in my memory] ... 's e one and only i ... . too deep. conviction. cant escape. i still ... u.
`you werent there.
